TRUCK-KUN LOVES YOU. THAT'S WHY HE HAS TO SMASH YOU OUT OF THAT CROSSWALK AND INTO A COMPLETELY NEW EXISTENCE.
We get it. Nobody thinks being struck by a truck going stupid fast, breaking practically every bone in your body and turning you into a read smear on the pavement is pleasant. But truck-kun isn't doing it for the LOLs, people. He's got worlds to save and heroes to make.
What, you were happy with your life? Pfft. Come on. If you met Truck-kun, odds are you were delivering fast food for some shitty app that skimmed your tips, or were an office drone stuck in cubicle purgatory, or you worked fuckin' retail. Don't pretend you were happy or that your life was fulfilling or had meaning. Sure, you might wake up in your life with a goblin trying to gnaw your face off or whatever, but Truck-kun definitely provided you with meaning. And he didn't even expect thanks.
So the least you can do is buy some fuckin' merch, yeah? Yeah.
